Hello again,
It has been almost three years since I have last blogged about anything. Those three years have been hard years. Years of change. Years of being nomads. Years of going deep into my heart with my Father to understand both myself better and in the process, his heart better.
I have read the quote 'If you want to know the mind of God, you have to use your own'. There is truth there. But I would prefer to say 'If you want to know the heart of God, you have to know your own'. And so this is what I have been doing.
The challenge is that it takes time and it takes being willing to walk into confusion and pain and chaos. But the rewards are so worth it. Healing of old wounds. Understanding of my own heart as to why I get hung up in certain areas, why I am the way that I am, the brokenness of my own sinfulness and the sinfulness of the world but also the glory which God has created in me because he has stamped HIS image in me. I say 'in' and not 'on' because his image permeates to the very core of my soul. I am a mixture of the dignity which he bestows as his creation but also now as his child but also the depravity which continues to war.
During those three years, I really had no idea what I could have to say that could have been of any good to anyone. Not that this was true. It just FELT true. And so I have extinguished my voice in so many ways. But even if only one person once is encouraged or strengthened by something I have learned and been willing to share, it is worth the time and effort.
So I'm back. I really don't know how frequently I will be posting. But I choose to believe that God can redeem and use whatever I say to his glory, even my brokenness and struggle.
I am thinking of starting a blog with a different name so stay tuned.
So I"ll see you soon!!
