Summer has arrived!! (and so has Driving School)

Well, Summer has truly arrived - the heat - the sweat - the restless nights. But I can't complain. The summer up to now has been unseasonably cool. Our days consist of 'screening'. Sigh. I guess that's what you get when you have 'screen-agers'. Not my term. Can't take the credit. :-) This week begins the English camps that Jonathan will be helping with. I am glad he is interested in helping. It doesn't hurt that he has community service hours to catch up on. And no, he WASN'T arrested. :-) I was asked that yesterday. They are just required to do 10 hours a semester here. There was a little confusion as to what was 'community' service and what was 'school' service. So, he will finish those and do some for this next fall to 'get them out of the way'. I went to an intensive driver's school session this weekend. 18 1/2 hours of learning about how to get my license here in Spain. About 3 pm on Sunday, I realized the difference between how they teach here and how they teach - at least in the USA. Driving school in the USA has the purpose of teaching you how to drive. How to be safe. Here in Spain, the focus is 'how do you pass the test'. There is a subtle difference (actually once you see it, it's not quite so subtle). We Americans and Canadians were asking questions about how to navigate the roundabouts and the safest way to drive through them. Her answers were what we needed to make sure we did when we took the test. What the examiner will count off on and what he will watch for. When we would ask again - yes, but how should we drive in normal life - she would answer 'this is what you need to make sure you do or don't do when you take the driver's test.' The educational system here in Spain is focused on 'how do you pass the test?' Not on how do I learn or how do I use this in my life afterwards. It is focused on memorizing for the test and then forgetting. And that's how they drive here. They learned the 'rules' to pass the test. Now they drive how is convenient for them. That's why so many people have accidents here!! Anyway, the test is made up to trick you. To make sure you know the rules. So many of the questions are worded so that, if you have memorized the definition, you will know which is the right answer. It's a cultural experience for sure!! And so the plan is to pass the theory exam in July sometime (it is VERY common even for Spaniards to fail the first time) and then practice while I am in the USA - parking etc., to make sure I am in practice. Then in Sept. when I return, take the driving classes and then pass the practical (actual driving) part. Ugh. Well, I will stop boring you with the driving aspect of life in Spain. Many of you may wonder why in the world I haven't gotten before now - since we've lived in Spain practically since Sept. 1995. Well, when we arrived, we could have turned in my American license and gotten a Spanish one. But we didn't know and it was recommended that we just use the International License you get from AAA. Then the law changed!! Then we found out that the law changed !! This all took a couple years!! Then we kept driving because no one could tell us FOR SURE if and when we were illegal. So, practically, I have only not been driving since 2004. It has been very expensive to get the license here - Cost over $1000 for Sam to get his 11 years ago!! We didn't have that kind of money so I waited. But living here in our small town, I am stuck if I want to go anywhere unless I take the only bus or ask Sam to drive me. I guess I will choose to see it as a 'right of passage' for living in Spain. So, I will close now and see if I can pass any more of the practice tests!! I have passed 3 out of about 27 that I have taken!! I will try to attach some picture to this to see if I can figure out how to do it. Probably our latest family picture when Troyer graduated. Thanks for listening!! Jill

The Choice

Hello again all!! I have been looking forward to the summer and having more time to think and to process (which I have commented on frequently!) and to CLEAN and ORGANIZE!! But there is a 'down side' to this time. Sometimes it's just easier to be busy and not have the time to think and process and look into my heart. I don't always like what I see there. There's a lot of fear and worry. A lot of this comes from not feeling in control. But when have I EVER really been in control? As I tell my kids, and it's to remind myself, the only thing that I can control in my life is how I respond to life. And this totally has so much to do with my relationship with my Father. But yet, I run. I hide. I avoid. I am 'busy'. I don't like to see the fear and - yes - the anger in my own heart. It HURTS. :-) Yet I know that, as I stuff and hide and avoid, this 'stuff' continues to control me. I try to 'control' it - stuffing and hiding and denying. Yet the paradox is: It is what is really controlling ME!! As Socrates is said to have said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." But there's a lot of YUCK down inside there. Pain from way back farther than we can remember - yet our hearts remember. I need to allow the light of God's truth to shine on these areas and allow Him to heal them. But that involves the process of taking them out - one by one- and looking at them and grieving them and giving them to God to heal and to purify. And that is a lot of work that most of us don't really want to walk through. It's easier to study theology and make sure we've got our 'i's' dotted and our 't's' crossed doctrinally and have God all outlined and summarized and 'understood' than it is to come to Him in our weaknesses and failure and hurt and anger/rage and give all this to Him to do what He will with it. How fearful yet amazing beyond our comprehension to have the God of the Universe whisper His love to our hearts when we are broken before Him. How 'out of control' it is to sit before our FATHER and allow Him to accept us when we are not acceptable. To love us when we are most unlovable. To whisper His delight and love when we see our own unworthiness and ugliness. THIS is where His transformation takes place. Yet I run. I avoid. I deny. Hmmm. Just some thoughts that are swirling around in my head. I am SO 'in the process'. But God continues to whisper His love and acceptance to me. He continues to send me 'messages' - whether in His word or in the words of a friend or in the words of a movie or a song. Zephaniah 3:17 says: "The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." The question I have to answer every moment of every day of my life is: Will I choose to believe this or not? God has said it. Will I choose to believe it or will I listen to all the lies that bounce around in my head about how I'm not good enough. How I have failed. How I am unacceptable. The choice is mine.

Summer is Here!!

Well, school is done for me. Since I am not teaching next year, I don't have to go tomorrow! I am sad that I am done but then again, I am ecstatic!! My time is my own - well, maybe. At least my time is my own and my family's!! I am going to be cleaning and spending time with my family. We are ALL together and who knows when we will all be together again in one place?? Hopefully next summer but we don't know. So I will enjoy it while I can. I will also be able to blog more. :-) Well, I've had my nap and checked up on e-mail so I will go do some laundry now!! Hugs! Jill